My Word for 2013: Invest

This is not where I originally got this idea from. I had seen a clip from Studio 5 about bloggers making things with their word for the year. Since I can't find that post/clip, I found this one to explain it a little more in case you want to try this yourself this year.

I was looking and trying to find the post that I had written for my word that I chose last year, and I have no idea where it went. So, I guess I will just start over here for this year when I choose my new word for the year.

in·vest

  [in-vest] 

verb (used with object)

1.

to put (money) to use, by purchase or expenditure, in something offering potential profitable 

returns, as interest,income, or appreciation in value.

2.

to use (money), as in accumulating something: to invest large sums in books.

3.

to use, give, or devote (time, talent, etc.), as for a purpose or to achieve something: 

He invested a lot of time in helping children.

4.

to furnish with power, authority, rank, etc.: The constitution invests the president with the power of 

veto.

5.

to furnish or endow with a power, right, etc.; vest: Feudalism invested the lords with absolute 

authority over their vassals.

As I reflect over this past year, 2013 has been one of the hardest years of my life. I made some life-altering decisions and choices that I, for one, never thought I would ever have to end up making. These decisions turned my world, as I had known it, upside down.

When you get knocked down you have two choices:

First, you can stay there. Which, in the past few years, I had stayed down several times after getting knocked down.

Second, you can make the decision to get back up with a fighting determination/spirit and get back in the game. This year, that is exactly what I did. I was not going to stand for it anymore. It wasn't by any means easy. I was so drained mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.

I had not realized how hard I had been fighting to get back up until I finally made that decision and went with it. I felt in my gut like it was the right decision to make. I felt peace after I made it, and even though I know some people would be hurting as I had in the past, the process of making that decision was freeing.

My word that I had chosen to make a new years resolution for 2013, was invest. I feel like I did just that.

I invested my time into trying to make my marriage work one last time.

I invested my time into trying to build closer relationships with the people I was surrounded with.

I invested my time and effort into putting my best effort into my schoolwork after getting told that I wasn't good enough to continue. I was going to show them that I was and that they didn't make a mistake on letting me try for my dream once again. I wanted to show them, and more importantly, I wanted to show myself that I was worth it and I could do anything that I set my mind to doing.

I invested in myself for listening to the answer that I got to leave. Parts of me were fighting it because I was scared of being alone for the rest of my life and I didn't know what the unknown of the future would hold. I hated that I would be hurting people because that is the last thing that I wanted to do, but I had to have faith and trust that my Heavenly Father knew what was best for me as hard as it was to leave. Once I made that decision I felt peace and comfort that I had done the right thing. I felt sadness that I knew I would be hurting my husband and stepson by leaving, but I knew in my heart that I had to move on with the answer that God had finally given me after months of praying, pondering, blessings, and getting counsel from others.

I invested in the last of that relationship by leaving as much as I could and taking only what I would need or had owned previously to being married. It was so hard leaving some of that stuff, including half of the money since I knew that could have really helped me, but I wanted to be as fair and as just as I could. I knew how much they would be hurting without me to run the whole show like I had for the past four years, but I had to go. I showed as much compassion as I could by leaving birthday presents for my stepson that I was saving for him instead of returning them. I even helped to pack and do some of their dishes before my final goodbye. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It was probably the hardest decision I have ever faced up to this point in my life, and I never want to have to do that again.

I invested in myself by going to counseling and healing from the past.

I invested my money into starting a Mary Kay business and making new friends.

I invested my time, talents, and money into studying, reading, producing work/lesson plans, and attending my classes.

I invested my time, talents, and money into teaching a first grade class every Monday and Tuesday.

I invested in my spirit by attending an institute class each week.

I invested in my family by spending time with them even when there were times I didn't want to because they would tease me or fight with me about one thing or another.

I invested in my love life by taking that first step of allowing a good friendship to turn into something more once I was free and emotionally ready to start over. My new boyfriend has really been an answer to my prayers. He is so kind and understanding taking things very slowly and one step at a time. He was a friend and support to me first in my hard times. He didn't push me and has been a spiritual as well as emotional support along my journey. I don't know how I could have gotten through without him.

All in all, this has been quite an eventful year, especially with my word that I chose. I never thought I would see the word I chose have such an impact over the year, but it really did. I was more focused on investing my time and talents, but I ended up investing some money as well. I am ready for 2014. Bring it on!