The Polar Express- "Believe"

Believe [bih-leev]

verb (used without object), believed, believing.

1. to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so: Only if one believes in something can one act purposefully.

verb (used with object), believed, believing.

2. to have confidence or faith in the truth of (a positive assertion, story, etc.); give credence to.

3. to have confidence in the assertions of (a person).

4. to have a conviction that (a person or thing) is, has been, or will be engaged in a given action or involved in a given situation: The fugitive is believed to be headed for the Mexican boarder.

5. to suppose or assume; understand (usually followed by a noun clause): I believe that he has left town.

Verb phrases

6. believe in,

a. to be persuaded of the truth or existence of: to believe in Zoroastrianism; to believe in ghosts.

b. to have faith in the reliability, honesty, benevolence, etc., of: I can help only if you believe in me.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/believe

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF - Motivational Video (ft. Jaret Grossman & Eric Thomas)

This year I want to believe in myself, others and God. I have been working on increasing my personal value so that I feel like I can claim and own that I am a valuable contributing member of society. I have a lot of degrees and personal experiences to back myself up, but for some reason I have always felt somewhat inadequate.

For the past two years I have had several people, including some family members, who basically told me that I'm "failing at life" and they didn't believe in me anymore. I don't know if that has ever happened to you, but it hurt like a knife in my back. These people who have loved and supported me for most of my life up to this point were basically making me feel like I wasn't worth anything.

It's kind of ironic to me to go into an emotionally abusive environment like that after coming out of one from going through being divorced.

I think part of me started to believe what they were saying. It caused my already depression and self worth to go down even deeper than it already was.

To put it simply, I was having suicidal thoughts when I was in my marriage and I was going through my divorce. That's how low I was and how depressed I was.

Once I left, which was not an easy task in and of itself, I began working at getting better and liking myself again because I hated myself. I loathed everything about myself.

I hated how I looked. I hated that being on birth control had made me gain weight. I hated my stomach. I hated my butt. I hated my clothes. I hated looking at myself in the mirror. I hated that I wasn't good enough. I hated that I wasn't smart enough. I hated that I married my ex in the first place. I hated that I didn't leave sooner. I hated that I gave into fear and stayed longer than I should have. I hated that I couldn't tell people what was really happening.

I hated everything and I didn't feel like there was any point to even living anymore. My "happily ever after" marriage was gone. My new family that had been created through that marriage fell apart and was gone. My friends were all gone. I had nothing. At least that's what it felt like.

Sure I had stuff, material things. I left a lot more than I took, but what really counts, the relationships, I didn't feel like I had anyone to turn to but a few close people, and even they didn't seem to really believe in me.

Once I got back to liking myself, I wanted to love myself again. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. I felt like I was in this land of limbo. I grew up with a worldview that family is everything. Yet, I didn't feel like anyone wanted me. If your own family doesn't want you who are you supposed to turn to in your time of need?

As I begin the new year, I want to get rid of the negative things, ideas, and people who don't believe in me in my life. I want to focus on the positive good things, ideas, and people in my life.

With family you are "stuck with them" no matter what, but you don't have to listen to them to still love them. If they are being negative around you and trying to bring you down, try not to spend as much time with them. You don't need that kind of negative influence surrounding you all the time.

I have come to believe in myself again. My abilities. My strengths. Even my weaknesses can become stronger with owning them and believing in myself.

I can make a difference by changing my life and helping others to change theirs. I am not the same person that I was yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, or even a year ago. I am always striving to learn more, become better, and to be more.

I am working on writing a book. That is one of my goals for this year. I have to get it out. It's inside of me just waiting to be shared. I can't hold it in anymore.